So you’ve just realized that your ex girlfriend was The One. How do you get her back without looking like an idiot? Luckily there are a few easy steps to get you on your way.

The simplest way to rekindle an old flame is to contact her. E-mail is the easiest way to get back in touch. Avoid sending mushy love sentiments to start with. Consider including her on a couple of group e-mails. Maybe you came across an on-line article that she might find interesting. Forwarding her the story with a short note lets her know that you still want to be in touch.The birthday and holiday phone call is another non-creepy way to revive things with an ex. A quick voice mail on a birthday says that you still remember and care. If you are up for it, this is also a good way to hint at getting together. An offer to take her out to celebrate could be your chance to make your true feelings known.

Another sure fire way to let her know that you want her back is to not get serious with another girl. She may understand if you casually date, but avoid getting serious with anybody while trying to win back the ex. Your dating circle is small and everything will get back to her.

Listen to how she responds to you. If her tone is combative or aggressive chances are she is truly over you or harboring an old grudge. Chances are every infraction that you committed in your past relationship has been analyzed and discussed by her closest friends. She may also give you the cold shoulder as a way to protect her heart. If you have amends to make you should be clear and honest. Without healing the past there is no way to move forward.

UPDATE: This is an excellent e-book on the topic. Highly recommended!